School starts again in just a few days, and I’ve been trying to fill my time with the stuff vacations are made of.  Tonight, that “stuff” came in the form of three juniors.

Collin wrote a few days ago and said he and a couple friends wanted to come over for dinner.  Of course, he’d done the same thing last week, sending me to the kitchen to bake up a storm, then hadn’t turned up, so I wasn’t sure he and his cohorts would actually turn up this time…

They did.

The conversations that followed were…how shall I say this?  Let’s say they were memorable.  Examples?

Collin (after someone commented that he was looking pained):  “I’m getting my teeth drilled by tiny midgets inside my mouth.”

Merritt (during the first 30 minutes of a movie none of us liked enough to finish):  “Does ‘ax murderer’ mean someone who murders people with an ax?”  We all gave him “duh” stares, so he explained himself:  “Well, a serial murderer doesn’t kill people with cereal!”  (He looked convinced of his argument, so we didn’t push it any further…)

Collin and Merritt (after saying the same thing at the same time):  “We rehearse.”  (And I swear to you that they really do!  They sit around and practice witty repartee to use next time they’re in public together…  Unique, those boys.)

Collin (trying to sound intelligent):  “That’s the arche-o-type of romance.”  (Uh…Collin, my friend, do you mean archetype?)

Meredith (suddenly seeing Merritt’s name in her mind):  “Wow–four R’s!”  (Her blonde roots were showing.)

Collin:  (talking during Forrest Gump, a movie we did watch):  “I hate people who talk during movies.”  (“Hello, Pot?  This is Kettle calling…”)

And one of my favorites, accompanied by the following illustration:

Merritt (pointing to his elbow and bragging about his workout regimen):  “This muscle is rock-hard!”


The boys took control of my camera and tried to outdo my multiple chin record. 

Then we posed for what is apparently a must-do at all teenager gatherings, the famed “Myspace shot”.  Note how none of my chins are visible on the picture below…no more need for liposuction or chin-lifts.  My new best friend is the little button in Photoshop that says “crop”! 

Finally, Collin, who desperately wants to be me when he grows up, tried to recreate one of my Christmas Eve memories.  What do you think?  Did he succeed?

I must say that listening to these three talking leads to some pretty serious conversational whiplash.  A sample?

Meredith:  Can I get your husband-blanket?
Collin:  I watched ESOTSM over break.
Me:  Wow.  You said that without even having to think about it.
Merritt:  He’s been practicing.
Me:  You practice acronyms??
Collin:  A shark bit me on the arm, but I tore him off and killed him with my fist.
Meredith:  My jeans are still wet from the walk over here.
Merritt:  Do you think people can have sex if they don’t have brains?
Collin:  Faith is only 10% about facts…

I just glanced in the mirror and my eyes looked a little glazed over.  Go figure!

(Members of Creative Writing will understand what I really mean by “go figure”!)



  1. oh my.  i wish i was there.  that sounds like a ton and a half more fun than i’m having.  i DID buy a typewriter, though.  her name is lucy.

    i love those people;  i wish i was a junior on a daily basis.  i’m bored to tears of people trying to tell me about how mature i amn’t.  i need to drop back a year and not worry about it for a while.

    hooray poetry class!  is it going to be as grueling and heart breaking as prose?

    i woke up at 4 a.m. this morning to call stargirl and i think my articulation is beginning to feel the effects of my decision.

    oh well.  happy new year, ms phoenix!



  2. heh.  i signed that twice.











    okay.  i’m going back to bed.

  3. they are eating all my food!!! how dare they..haha just jokes..sorry about getting made fun of with all the double chins..tehehe

  4. thanks for a good time……………..i forgotted the book

  5. Collin did a pretty good job… wrong hand though

  6. hahahaha. sounds like them. all add…anyways. id give collin a 10 out of ten but he used the wrong hand as ahram said. attention to detail. lol. ok too much creative writing class. have a good rest of break. =)

  7. for sure?  i’m a senior.  i take priority in classes chosen. (i’ve been waiting my whole high school career to be able to play that card, and by golly, i’m going to play it now.)

    lucy and i are writing a story about a tornado named phoebe.

    i’ll see you in a few days.


  8. My brain hurts from just reading this post.

  9. what you guys dont understand (and i figured it was assumed) is that you are meant to look at My picture through a mirror on the side of it) (while squinting)………………….if you notice its the wrong hand and the hat is the wrong way……………………….sorry…….i figured you guys would realize that……….but now you know

  10. nope, he didn’t succeed. you are still much cuter! not that he’s not cute, mind you, but you got him beat, hands down.

  11. yo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    man… that was a night full of memoirrrrrrrrrrrsssss.

    and shark bites. 

    bye the way collin didn’t rip the shark off and punch him with his fist. IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII came to the rescue and stabbed it (the shark) with my jetski. (a sharp jet ski, to be specific.)  

    just to clear things up… you know, i want to get the credit i desirve. *clear throat, smack lips*

    ps i used to want to be perter pan too, taelyr! for about a month straight i’d ask my mom every night to call me that!

    alright over and out.

  12. Yeah, I noticed the wrong hand too, but I wasn’t going to say anything about it and be anal.
    But… since everyone else seems to just freely speak their mind… his hat is also flopped to the wrong side 🙂

    You’re having so much fun! I’m glad for you. Why are some people so funny? It’s like giving someone a bottle of coke. Then, that person can just shake it a ton and open the cap. And do you know what happens then? A great explosion.

    I remember when you used to call Becky Chase (Jones) Ms. COnversation-Whiplash. Funny how remember some things, but I’ve remembered that phrase just from the one time I heard you call her that. Weird. Wyrad.

    Michele, what does it mean if I dream that all my teeth are falling out but I hold them in place in my mouth and clamp my jaws shut to keep them from jiggling around? And in my dream, I also had mumps or something, but it was fatal, and I was about to die, but I hadn’t said goodbye to my parents and I couldn’t call them to tell them I loved them because I couldn’t talk from trying to keep my teeth in place?

  13. aw, those are some of my favorite friends! 🙂

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