MERRY CHRISTMAS!

So…in the tradition of my “what does a missionary do on…” series, what does a missionary do on Christmas Eve??  To answer the question that has been torturing the minds of Rudolph, Mrs. Claus and an assortment of other imaginary Christmas personas, this missionary has been eating.  And the beauty of being alone on Christmas Eve is:

1.  No one is there to count the calories for me.
2.  I get to eat exactly what I like best.
3.  I get to watch old videos of Dancing with the Stars and Grey’s Anatomy while I do so!

The menu of choice this year, after returning from BFA’s wonderful and moving service, was two attempts at making the world’s best hamburger ever (my comfort food–I’m telling you, I’d be the cheapest date in the world if my imaginary men ever decided to make a move!!).  Both were absolutely, taste-bud-pleasingly divine!

 

And then I had some pretty darned good cinnamon rolls.  Just so you don’t start saying Hail Mary’s for my for weight-loss plan, I’ve only had two rolls (not counting the ones around my waist…which are quickly outgrowing their “love handle” status to become a “love steering-wheel”).  The rest are going to the Grubb household, whose generous invitation will make me not quite so alone on Christmas afternoon.

It struck me as I sat alone at the beginning of the Christmas service last night, that this season shouldn’t be so much about receiving as about being thankful.  Not a novel concept, I realize, but it gained a new dimension last night as I watched a young family in front of me and, just for a moment, contemplated feeling sorry for myself.  I came to these two conclusions about some fairly common complaints some of us feel at Christmas time.

1.  I am fortunate–because though other families have young children to celebrate with, others are spending these holidays grieving the loss of children, the dismantling of marriages, and the transformation of love into disdain.  I am childless, but my Christmas sadness is for something that didn’t happen.  It is not the much deeper grief of someone who has known the wonder of love, belonging, and parenthood only to have lost it.  There are people even in this small BFA community who have lost children and spouses to disease or accidents, or who have suffered divorces and relational chasms between parents and children.  How blessed I am to have been spared the losses those others are burdened with, and how they need our prayers–especially during this holiday season–as they simply try to “survive” a torturous time of year for them.  My melancholy can be so petty……

2.  I am fortunate–because though I didn’t wake up in New Hampshire with the rest of my family this morning, I did wake up knowing that I have a mom and brother out there, as well as countless other family members who are either linked to me through lineage or love.  I have students like the one who called me with his wife, first thing this morning, to wish me a Merry Christmas (thank you, Grayson) and the one who sent my first Xanga greeting (thank you, Ahram).  I have friends like Mari Ellen who take time out of the insanity of their own Christmases to send me an e-card.  You all who are reading this are part of my extended family too, and I am blessed beyond belief and so, so grateful. 

There is grief of course.  The person in my family who loved Christmas most, I think, was my dad.  So in honor of him, I played a Gaither album last night after gorging on burgers and cinnamon rolls, donned his favorite old Santa hat, and took a couple pictures.  Hey–it’s what a missionary does on Christmas Eve, okay?  Besides, posting embarrassing self-portraits seems to be a trend among high school and college students, and I’m running an experiment to see if an elderly lady like me can still pretend to be yound and self-absorbed.  These are for you, Ner!

    

Comments

Comments(23)

  1. Merry Christmas Michele!! I love you and I hope today is a wonderful day for you {v}. Great pictures ;-)… I love your xanga entries… they always make me laugh :-D.

  2. so adorable…..as always! you know wut i think…i think that the reason you have all these imaginary men, is because the only guys that are smart enough to go for you don’t exist. they’re all too stupid! 😉

    merry christmas michele!

  3. merry Christmas michele!!! ;D

    -lydia

  4. Oh michele. I keep telling you.. you’re a little girl trapped in a big girl body. That inner playfulness just wants to eek out. But your ego or superego (as they tell me in psych. – in which i developed an interest after being analyzed by a not so qualified person in basel…) makes you show these feelings through smacking poor undeserving little boys upside the head.
    Miss you

  5. ooo……………evil MRS CLAUSE………..so was it fun?

    hmm…..check your (phone) messages………….ignore what i said….but what kelsey did was important……………..

    what are you doing tomarow?………is it too late of notice to have a party?………………kelsey wanted to talk to you sometime……….and I wanted her to come……(rachel leigh will be here….but youll like her anyways)………..but if it doesnt work ….then we’ll do it after the start of the New Year……………..or we could just chill …..whatever…..Im pretty bored and unbusy………..oh (and at the risk of being annoying) I wanna read “shards of shell”………haha

    alright….dont die

    me

  6. haha…gotta love simultanious commenting…..we’re probably doing it again……………the girl was my sister……….and I was a book too (if you have enough) ten euro right?………

    thursday works……..but i think there might be another party then……and jarred huckfeldt will be here…………………..

    but i good with it…….tomarows good too………….flexibility……………thats the key right?………..

    hmm…………..well FYI kelsey said your book was “some of the best writing ever”

    haha…………so i had this awsome line ready….about this time in the break I was gonna call ad be like “lets trade manuscripts” because your curriousity would have overwhelmingly compelled you to fork over your manu.

    But then I realized that I would actually have to finish a Manu for thats…….and one I could share taboot (sp?)………….so that plan failed

    oh well…………..

    dont die

  7. oh ….and your agenda for tomarow-

    -wake up early

    -make your BFA unaproved brownies

    -call me (971760)

    bye

  8. I do….all the time

    and we were…and probably are again…..this is scare……..I wont write anymore after this

    ok….so thursday works great….I realized that jarred wont be here then (but shawn newby will) and if I bring him Ill be popular……………..haha……………………but i dont know if hed come

    but yeah….thursday then……………and thats agenda is now for wednesday

    dont die

    and goodnight

  9. Merry Christmas Michele! Or should I say Joyeux Noel…? Freulich Weinachenten? (pardon my horrible German — I only took it in school Grades 1-6…). Sounds like you were a trooper about having to spend Christmas away from your family. :o)

    Cheri

  10. i still need to download yahoo..kinda been slacking off i know! i’ll hop to that today so we can chat..sounds liek you have a lovely christmas eve..and boy do those burgers look scrumptious..if thats how you spell it..alrighty i love you michele..i would say merry christmas but its not christmas over here anymore..

  11. You are so adorable!  If I looked as “who” as you, I’d be doing it too!  Love you!  Thank you for your song on Christmas Eve morning… it gave me goosebumps – a big one in my throat too.

  12. You’re pretty much great, you know that? And I love you KIND of a lot. Although I am disappointed that you only managed 2 cinnamon rolls. I coulda done AT LEAST the small pan. 🙂

  13. So proud of you Michele. Way to be thankful. Don’t be too bored without us now. Love your self-taken pictures. Cute!

  14. you made me cry…i was reading your blog aloud to my family and couldn’t make it through one of the paragraphs.

    My brother, in typical Marti style (can’t get too serious for too long) said, “Did she make all those rolls for herself?”

    Miss you!  m.e.

  15. that plan involves too much money……….plane trips to figi can get pretty steep

    but what about tomarow? (wednesday) Im game……meredith will still be here….rachel will…..kelsey will……….merritt will……..i think we have a winner………(or did it not work for you) I hope that isnt the case

    dont die

  16. aww Mish….I miss you! I miss your hugs your laughs and your love and ofcourse your cinnamon rolls!!!!! So wish I could be back there for a visit…if only. I love you, Merry belated Christmas!! It’s already 2 days ago…it goes so fast!!! it’s only 5 weeks and 3 days till my wedding…..oh my……I MISS YOU AND LOVE YOU!

  17. you’re so fruitcaking cute.

    can i have a bite? 😀

    ps. I’M WITH NIC!!!!!!!!!! WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! she says hi. yep.

  18. oh that’s right, when is there wedding? I can’t get my head around all the wedding’s going on. This must be a BFA first!!!

  19. you nincompoops woke me up!       haha…………..I heard “you broke it” then fell asleep again………….i just thought it was a different group of alumni returning my golf clubs………

  20. Yah!  Can’t wait to see you!

  21. guessing you are in the middle of wedding…i’m missing you tons…can i come home now?  family all left today so it is is deathly quiet (why am I complaining?).  Mom’s in bed already…it’s 9 p.m.!!

  22. all those photos and not a single double chin in sight!

  23. lol. Those are some great SPs… Oh, how young and self-absorbed you appear… =D

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