I received an email from someone very special tonight, and I hope that “someone” won’t mind me sharing it with you. It goes something like this:
i miss everyone so much.
i’m not looking forward to anything.
i don’t feel comfortable anywhere…
i dont have a home anymore.
i don’t know if i can do this, mich.
i miss you……..
Of course you miss everyone–
let those feelings happen, but don’t lose yourself in them.
You don’t know what’s ahead, so how could you possibly look forward to anything? …and that’s okay right now.
You are between homes, between “belongings”, so it’s understandable that you can’t feel comfortable anywhere.
You do have a home, a new home. But you’re just on your way to it and it might take a while to get there. This is the journey that leads to new “belonging”. And the destination, in time, will be worth the pain of the beginning.
You CAN do this. You’re not losing it. You’re not weak. You are being emotionally honest about a very real stage of your life, a stage rife with change, unpredictability, and therefore fear.
But you’ll get through it. And it’s okay to feel scared or forlorn or empty until then. Just don’t let those emotions suffocate the “survivor” in you. Force yourself to look for positives, to project optimistically, and find a way to put emotional energy you don’t think you have into meeting new people, creating a new comfort zone, and digging down roots in this unfamiliar soil.
And once all the newness and unknownness and forlornness have eased, you might find yourself in a place that’s beginning to feel a bit like home….
Misch, Meech, Mich, Michou, Mitch, Shell, Shelley and Michele
PS: Below are three wonderful grads who prove that there is LIFE (full, fun, challenging, hopeful, daunting, exasperating, joyful life) after BFA. They’d probably tell you that the journey has been riddled with unexpected potholes and unpredicted speed bumps, but that the rewards have started to outweigh the challenges…and that’s what the trip is all about.