My eyes are swollen.

One more day to love them.

One more day to wrap my hope around them.

One more day to wonder if I said enough, did enough, loved well enough…

Not even a whole day–a couple hours of ceremonial sterility, a few stollen moments in a crowd of well-wishers, febrile arms and hollow words. 

My goodnight prayer was soft tonight.  I sat on her bed in her empty dorm room and tried to wrap my voice around the thoughts my mind failed to unravel.  I felt her tears on my bare forearm as I prayed.  They fell in rhythmic mourning, ticking restless time away.  My own tears drowned my words.  I hope she heard my heart.

The others offered shell-shocked, weary hugs as I gathered my poise and sighed toward home.  I love them.  Have I mentioned that?

Crowded into a photo booth on Monday–our final trip to Basel

But these ladies of uncommon grace and wisdom will do well.  Of this I am so sure.  Whatever I have done right or wrong, their future is God’s to shape and share.  He is greater than my limitations and failures–He is greater than their wildest hopes.  He has gifted them with dreams and discernment and empowered them with a zeal for Truth.  They will survive this painful, liberating milestone and those that wait ahead.  They will find sustenance in the years they’ve journeyed together.  They will grow and strain and deepen and brighten…  They will change their world with Joy and Love.  As they have changed mine.  And I will wait across the chasm to learn of what they’ve done with God–for God.  This end is a beginning, the prelude of a symphony.

How blessed are we who witness this eclosion.

I love them.  Have I mentioned that?




  1. yes, Michele, you loved enough.  Yes, Michele, you did enough.  Yes, Michele, you said enough.  And the best part is that you “keep on giving.” Remember…there’s xanga…there’s email…there are those middle of the night phone calls (which you so graciously allow).  You’ve never stopped giving to “your kids” just because we put a cap and gown on them!!  You aren’t finished, girl.

  2. i agree with mari ellen, i always appreciated you letting me talk to you or just let out whenever i called, even after i graduated..the girls know that your love for them will not change.. and michele, have i mentioned that i love you so?

    ps. was the booth thing sunmin’s idea? or..

  3. Hello, hello, I enjoyed this entry of yours, it is encouraging to remember that God is in control. I got a bit too melancholy this morning after their good bye breakfast, hence my blog entry. It is also fun to see your xanga and be able to keep up with your life. By the way, this is Julia. It has been good seeing you again. = )

  4. Michele, you DIDN’T come to the staff barbeque! Because IF you were there, there is NO way that I would’ve missed you. Well, I hope you have an awesome, RELAXFUL break. I love you!


  5. it was my idea grace!!! in remembrance of you… pretty special huh?

    michele…. I’m in cali… pray for me… I CANNOT STOP being critical… it hurts so bad…. so bad… I miss you misell.. so much….

  6. Michele,
    I love you so much. I kind of wish I had come with you guys to Mezzo, but I had the best time with my friends right around that time. everything just kind of went downhill from there.
    I think I definitely prayer. My wall’s back up, except it’s not made of glass but styrofoam. I feel so out of place here. AHHHHHHHHH.

  7. Michele, you have done everything right… and I stand here in applause and gratitude of those things!!!

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